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M.J. Waters was born in Oakland, California where he had some unique Bay Area experiences growing up. He was at the A’s game where Ricky Henderson broke the stolen base record. He was at a Hayward bowling alley and Too $hort happened to be bowling on the lane next to him. He was in his backyard reading Tom Sawyer for school on October 17th, 1989 when shifting tectonic plates made the self-important humans feel really small and insignificant. He was also around to see the blaze and aftermath of the 1991 Oakland firestorm that made neighborhoods vanish.

M.J. Waters moved to San Diego when he was twenty years old and would begin to stretch out a collegiate career to thresholds previously thought unachievable. He ended up with a degree in Philosophy which was somewhat inspired by Patrick Swayze’s character in Roadhouse. He spent half a year travelling Mexico in his early twenties, driving from San Diego to Merida in the Yucatan Peninsula where he ran amuck and got into adventures of a deviant nature.

Years later, M.J. returned to Mexico for his friend’s wedding where at the resort he was staying he would meet his eventual wife. Poor, poor girl. If only you had gone to Hawaii instead of Cancun for vacation you’d be free of all this grief and suffering. After dating for a while they tried out and went on a game show called The Amazing Race where they ended up winning the Million Dollar prize. Or possibly they failed to correctly accomplish an agonizingly insipid common task and were eliminated on the 5th leg and have been emotionally scarred ever since. Or maybe they went on the Price is Right. Who knows?

They eventually got married in Florence, Italy and after the wedding had an incredible trip to Siena and Rome. Or maybe they got married in Florence, California and had the reception at the Chuck E. Cheese on South Alameda St.

M.J. and his wife manufactured two daughters along the way. These two daughters were born with really pretty faces and give M.J. a shadowing anxiety for whence they become teens.

M.J. might eventually write another book as he awaits the reception of The Phantom Paradigm with a personal goal of selling twelve books. If M.J. Waters, through social media and word of mouth can generate a total of twelve or more books sold, M.J. will be able to afford a cheap bottle of wine to celebrate with and then will start writing again.